I was introduced to Christianity through my parents and was brought up to understand the Christian faith from as far back as I can remember. I attended church with my family at the time and was brought up knowing that God loved me but not truly understanding what that meant. As a child who didn’t care to internalise messages and scriptures, I eventually started to drift from the Christian faith.

I stopped going to church, started indulging in material pleasures and tackled all my problems with a worldly stance. I would tell people that I was a Christian but did not care for the fact that I hadn’t stepped into a church for years. At the time, I thought that doing good deeds was enough to justify being a Christian. By “doing good deeds” and assuming I knew enough about the Bible, I excused myself from going to church. I still prayed, but I would only pray for myself for things that I needed, like exams or interviews, and didn’t bother to take my close ones’ problems to prayer. In the time that I stopped going to church, I started using Sundays to do whatever I wanted. With no sermons or Sunday school to teach me how to live my life in a godly manner, I often turned to worldly things for happiness. For a large portion of my life, I had turned away from God or only sought him for selfish reasons. It had only dawned on me how erroneous my ways were when I had a conversation with Joel about what it means to be a Christian. I had gone astray and had been so complacent about my Christian faith. I knew that I had to stop making excuses for myself and finally turn to God.

I started attending Tree of Life Christian Church after being invited by Joel. However, it took a while to adjust to going back to church after avoiding it for so long. Listening to sermons and attending Sunday school was an eye-opener for me as I realised how little I actually knew about the Bible. I was afraid that I was not deemed a “good enough” Christian after being so complacent about my faith. I began regularly attending church to learn more. Weekly prayer meetings made me realise that I should actively get to know others and pray for their situation as well, and not just my own. Simultaneously, I appreciated that others were also praying for my matters and giving me helpful advice that was taught to them through the Bible. Influenced by others in the church, I started reading the Bible more regularly, using it as a guide on how to live my life and face my problems. This has made all the difference. Although I once used to enjoy my free Sundays, I realise now that using my Sundays to worship and serve the Lord makes me feel much happier and fulfilled. Eventually, I came to realise that I should not feel ashamed to come to church or worry that I was not a “good enough Christian.” Undoubtedly, I am a sinner and have sinned against God, but I am also a child of God and have accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour.

Five years ago, I would have thought it would be a miracle for me to step back into a church, but by God’s grace I now yearn to learn more and worship Him. I continue to live my life by doing good works while working on my spiritual growth to become a good Christian testimony and glorify God. I started serving in the church, reading the Bible and praying (for myself and others) more regularly, repenting of my sins, encouraging others to come to church and more. With every step that I take on this narrow path, the more grateful I am that I got this chance to live this wonderful life, and for all those around me who have helped me on my spiritual journey, for all the trials that I have gone through to get to this place. I am glad that God has always been and will always be with me through it all.