I was baptised during the Chinese Lunar New Year in the year 2003. It has been 15 years since then. During that period, there were four years during which I was filled with bitterness and forsook the Lord completely. Days without the Lord were even more difficult. When I was at my wit’s end, I realised that only the Lord could save me.

Last year (2017), I returned to the Lord, and began to read God’s Word afresh. I selected the Book of Job. The words that Job said during his sufferings, I also said the same in my heart. I am grateful to God that He has preserved these words. He truly understands human nature. I also discovered my own sin—I harboured evil thoughts towards God during suffering. I repented and confessed my sins in tears. I continued, however, to ask God: “Why are there sufferings? You have the power but why did you not prevent sufferings?”

God made use of a mathematics genius to answer my question. In a television show this person demonstrated the ability to calculate rapidly the cube of a 6-digit number. As soon as the audience posed the question, the correct answer was given. It was as fast as a computer. The audience was astounded. This genius introduced himself: “I do not know from where this ability came. I could do it since I was little. My friends requested me to explain how I managed it, but no one could understand me.” These words led be to think about sufferings. It was not that God refused to explain it to me. Rather, it was I who could not understand the reason. God gave to this mathematics genius a little knowledge more than the ordinary person, and it was already beyond my ability to understand. How much more so it is with God’s wisdom. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” God has personally said that these ways are ways of peace and not ways of calamity. We believe that God’s final answer will be the correct answer. Then, we will all exclaim: “We are astounded!”

During the days that I forsook God, God did not forsake me.  He saved me by protecting me from a fatal accident. The Bible passage that says, “for He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone” (Psalm 91:11-12), actually happened to me.

Our God is full of grace and compassion. Those who trust in Him are blessed.